Expeditionary Force by Craig Alanson Wiki
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Expeditionary Force by Craig Alanson Wiki

Skippy's Magnificent Insults

  • Excellent! Bipedal, 1300cc brain, opposable thumbs. A hairless monkey. You can carry me out of here.
    Skippy ~Columbus Day
  • “There once was a caveman from Maine, whose dick was so small, he rubbed it in va-“
    Skippy ~Columbus Day
  • “Oh, that is so cute! Your species is like a dog who thinks he’s being clever by pooping behind the couch.”
    Skippy ~Columbus Day
  • "When I said 'longer than I thought', I meant longer in magical Skippy time, not longer in meatsack caveman time, you dumdum monkeyboy. I had full control over the star carrier 120 milliseconds after I said 'thought'."
    Skippy ~Columbus Day
  • "You hush now," Skippy admonished. "You can't sit at the big people's table, and talk to me again, until you solve the equation I've just sent to your phone. Run along now, that's a good boy."
    Skippy to Dr. "Smirky McJerkoff" Constantine ~Columbus Day
  • "Now I really feel like an idiot." "How could you tell?"
    Joe, Skippy ~Zero Hour
  • "Joe, Joe, Joe" he said saldy, "the biggest problem idiots face is that they're too stupid to know they are stupid. When I point out their lack of brain power I am performing a public service. It's because I care so deeply." ... "No wait, scratch the caring thing, that was total BS."
    Skippy ~Zero Hour
  • “Joe, you know how, every couple of years, a mugshot of some rough-looking criminal goes viral, because he has the bad-boy look that makes women stupid?” “Oh, well,” I blushed again. Maybe my mug shot was not so bad. “That’s nice, Skippy, thanks. I-” “Your photo is not that,” he laughed. Now my face was really red. “Hey, you-” “Seriously, your mugshot looks like you got beaten up by a bunch of pre-schoolers, after you tried to rip off their lemonade stand.” “That is not-” “I’ve seen kittens that have more of a bad-boy look.”
    Skippy, Joe ~Critical Mass
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